Author Archive
Coming up with Creative Solutions
Posted by: | CommentsI am fascinated by the creative process. Do you find that sometimes you are really in sync and great ideas come to you very easily and other times you struggle to even focus for a few seconds on a concept? Have you ever thought about what is happening when you are trying so hard to be creative?
Recent research shows that when you are distracted from a creative challenge for a few minutes, you are more likely to come up with a creative solution than if you focused your attention on it. In the study done at the University of Amsterdam, students were given a creative problem to solve. One group was told they had three minutes to think it through before giving their answers. Another group was given an unrelated task to do for three minutes to distract them. This task was a non-creative one that was designed to use their conscious thoughts. The third group was asked to come up with ideas immediately.
Does it Work to Fake it until You Make it?
Posted by: | CommentsDo you know that low self-esteem can sabotage your career success? In a recent article in Forbes Woman, author Laura Sinberg states that people with low self-esteem often unconsciously sabotage their careers. Sinberg quotes Lois Frankel, PhD, author of Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office.
People with low self-esteem often try to remain under the radar screen because they don’t want to be noticed, but especially in this economy, that is the wrong thing to do.
This quote caught my attention because the focus of my coaching for professional women is to help them create visibility and be on the radar screen of key influencers at work. This is critical for career advancement.
The article also states that, in general, we tend to make assumptions about people who exhibit behavior associated with low self-esteem. One common assumption is that they are not very intelligent. We make these assumptions based on the fact that these people seldom speak up in meetings and if they are called on, they are timid and don’t readily express an opinion.
Other self-sabotaging behavior that is associated with low self-esteem is not asking for raises or promotions. It’s easy to see how all this can negatively impact your career.
What Does it Take to be a Thought Leader?
Posted by: | CommentsLast week I attended a panel discussion at Barclay’s in New York City on the topic of How to Be a Thought Leader. The panel included Nicki Gilmour, CEO of The Glass Hammer, Carol Hymowitz, Editorial Director of Forbes Woman, and Barbara Jones, of Editorial Director of Hyperion Books. The discussion focused on professional women and thought leadership.
According to Wikipedia,
A thought leader is a futurist or person who is recognized for innovative ideas and demonstrates the confidence to promote or share those ideas as actionable distilled insights.
The panel was in agreement that in order to be a thought leader, it’s not enough to be creative and innovative. One must also have the ability and confidence to promote their ideas.
Part of the discussion addressed how women are not really good at speaking up and promoting their ideas; how we often take the back seat to men in the workplace. What is the best way to communicate your ideas so that others will be inspired and motivated to support you?
Is it Possible to be Too Cautious?
Posted by: | CommentsMany thought leaders believe that because women are more cautious, they make better decisions. I believe there is some validity in this especially if you look at the recent events on Wall Street. It’s only speculation of course, but there is a widely held opinion that if there was more diversity at the leadership and board level, this current economic crisis might have been averted. Who knows?
Can this cautious outlook sometimes work against us? It is possible, in my opinion, to be so cautious that you never move forward in your business or career. Being overly cautious can paralyze you.
Almost every major milestone in my own career has been due to me taking an enormous leap of faith and trying something new; something perhaps I was not totally prepared for but decided to embrace regardless. When a door opened, I ran through it and never worried how I would master what was required to be successful in this new opportunity. I’m not saying that every time I took a risk, it worked out well. There have been times that I have fallen flat on my face. When this happens, it’s important to dust yourself off, gather your wits about you, and start all over again. In other words, never let your failures prevent you from learning a lesson, picking yourself up, and seizing the next opportunity that comes along with the same passion and energy.
Are You Taking on More Work Without a Promotion?
Posted by: | CommentsThis question is the topic of a recent article in Harvard Business Review, “Are You The Victim of An Invisible Promotion?” by Ron Ashkenas.
The post poses some direct questions to the reader about whether or not your role has changed significantly in the past six months and whether you have been given new responsibilities with no formal promotion or pay raise. Ashkenas reminds us that the practice of assigning more responsibility without changes in job title or description has become more common lately due to the reorganization and downsizing of companies.
I suppose that any of us who have survived downsizing feel very fortunate to still have a job. In this situation, we are more likely to take on more responsibility without a promotion because we not only feel lucky to have a job, but also somewhat vulnerable and sensitive to the instability of the company and the economy. We want to keep our jobs.
That being said, we also need to realize the value that we bring to our company and not let the fact that we have taken on more responsibility go unnoticed.
Ashkenas has some great advice:
Can You Be Too Independent?
Posted by: | CommentsI have received comments over the years from family and friends who say to me that I’m independent to a fault. Is there such a thing as being too independent?
After a 20 year career in corporate America, I left about six years ago to start my coaching business and I’ve never looked back. Sure, there have been challenges; plenty of challenges. I would be dishonest if I said running my own business is a piece of cake. It’s not. It can be stressful and even scary at times. Why? Because YOU are the business and though you can occasionally take time off (as difficult as that is for me personally), at the end of the day, it’s YOU who makes all the decisions and charts the course for the direction of your business.
In the beginning, I would stress over every decision. It seemed to me at the time that every decision was a monumental one. What should I name my company? What should my website look like and say? What is my niche? I have to say now I make my decisions quickly and they are often based on my intuition. Sometimes I make good decisions; some aren’t so great, but I’ve come to realize that this is all part of the evolutionary process of becoming an entrepreneur. I celebrate the fact that I have the ability to make these decisions and chart my own course; to make some mistakes and hopefully learn from them and move forward. That’s what is means to be independent after all.
Celebrating Women’s Friendships
Posted by: | CommentsYears ago at a small women’s college in New England, thirteen girls from all over the country met and became good friends. At the time, those thirteen girls had no idea how strong their friendship was to become and how it would last and, in fact, strengthen through the years.
We called ourselves “The Dynasty” which gives you a clue as to how impressed we were with ourselves at the time! We were bright, attractive, and full of fun. We all had an amazing zest for life!
Years have passed since our graduation from Connecticut College and through the years, this group of friends has continued to share many milestones together; marriage, children, divorce, death, and career challenges and successes. We always take the time from our busy lives to stay connected and make a point to set aside quality time each year to meet for a few days. These reunions are always filled with laughter and tears, and always the warmth of love and friendship. There is such a special feeling when you re-unite with old friends. No need for formalities. We get right into it and return immediately to where we were as college students and bask in the glow of love and respect for each other, and the safety in knowing each other so well.
You Need to Raise Your Hand
Posted by: | CommentsIf you don’t raise your hand, you won’t be called on and maybe that’s a good thing; a good thing, that is, if you want to remain invisible and safe. After all, when you raise your hand, you are risking public failure. When you raise your hand, you are sending a signal to everyone that you have the confidence to publicly state your opinion, volunteer for something, or ask a question (even at the risk of sounding clueless).
In an article written by Clay Shirky, a professor at NYU, titled “A Rant About Women”, he says
“To put yourself forward as someone good enough to do interesting things is, by definition, to expose yourself to all kinds of negative judgments, and as far as I can tell, the fact that other people get to decide what they think of your behavior leaves only two strategies for not suffering from those judgments: not doing anything, or not caring about the reaction”.
He points out in the article that women are more apt to do nothing and less apt than men to take risks and take advantage of important opportunities that may present themselves because they fear failure. He feels women are more concerned with what other people may think of them than what they want to achieve.
How Do You React When Someone Upsets You?
Posted by: | CommentsLast week I attended a Board meeting for a local non profit organization and before the meeting officially started, we were having a casual conversation when a colleague of mine made the comment that someone’s “nose was out of joint” because of a certain interaction that had occurred earlier in the week. That got me thinking. What was the origin of this idiom and what actually happens when someone’s nose is out of joint?
It turns out that the earliest form of this idiom was first recorded in 1581, and the description is to “be upset or irritated, especially when displaced by someone”. Your “nose is out of joint” when the look on your face and the way you act shows other people that you are upset. Although a nose cannot actually be “out of joint”, a person who is upset may have a strange look on their face until they recover.
So that leads me to another question. How do you react when you are upset with something that someone did or said to you? Does your nose get “out of joint” or are you able to clearly communicate verbally why you are upset?
I think we tend to suffer in silence. When someone says something to us that upsets us, we internalize it and don’t verbally respond, at least not right away. Later when another person asks us why we are upset, we might share what happened and how the particular incident affected us. If we follow this course of action, however, we miss the opportunity to give feedback to the person who caused us pain or irritation. Often they hear it from a third party and you know how that goes. Just like the old game of telephone, the communication gets mixed up and muddled.
This leads me to another question. Why don’t we give immediate direct feedback about how we feel to the person who upsets us? Why do we rely on body language to convey our message when it can be so easily misinterpreted or even overlooked?
I can offer some theories:
- We are fearful of the reaction of the other party.
- We lack the confidence to express our feelings directly.
- We don’t understand how assertive communication can benefit a relationship.
- It’s much easier to be passive aggressive and tell everyone else how upset we are than confront the other person directly.
- A combination of all of the above
What about you? How do you react when someone upsets you? Do you communicate directly to the other person how you feel or do you get your “nose out of joint”, make a little grimace and move on?
If you don’t assert yourself and communicate directly, you miss an opportunity to build or strengthen a personal or professional relationship.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Do You Ever Get Stuck?
Posted by: | CommentsA couple of weeks ago, I interviewed Libby Gill on my Head over Heels Radio show about her book, You Unstuck: Mastering the Rules of Risk Taking in Work and Life. Reflecting on that discussion this week, I realized that there are so many ways we get stuck in our personal lives and in our businesses. I guess it’s part of the human condition to get “stuck in our ways”, especially as we get older.
Sometimes we get stuck because we become so comfortable where we are that we are fearful of taking any risks that might bring about change. So we stay in a job that has no potential or a job that we hate because in our minds, the choice is between the job that we have become so accustomed to and the unknown. We are frightened of the change. Needless to say, whatever the reason is that we don’t make a change, it is important to realize the consequences of being “stuck”. After all, being “stuck”, quite simply means going “nowhere”.
