Author Archive
The Great Escape
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What would you do to escape reality? A friend shared his daydream with me last week and it gave me a new appreciation for the realm of make-believe. I know we should always strive to function within our realities, but I think spending time daydreaming may be a short-term escape that helps us through difficult times. My friends’ daydream was as simple as associating a road sign with a far-off fantasy about owning a quaint restaurant, and it goes like this, “…as I was driving home last night, I passed over North Rocky Creek. Every time I pass over it I think of it as a really cool name for a restaurant. So, for the next 50 miles or so I tried to completely plan out what type of menu, ambiance, clientele, etc. North Rocky Creek would have. It’s not that I’d want to run a restaurant, necessarily, I just think it’s a cool exercise to give my brain; to fantasize about a world that seems much simpler than my own. I can see and almost smell the rainbow trout almondine served over a bed of saffron rice with a side of steamed asparagus (I don’t do broccoli)…”
Working with Grownups
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Let’s face it we’ve all worked with people who act so much like grownups that there’s little fun to be had, but equally as often we’ve worked with people who sometimes act like children. We may too have been a bit childish at times, but the big question is: how do you deal with a co-worker whose behavior warrants a time out?
If it’s a subordinate, you can somewhat coerce them into more professional interaction, but what if it’s your boss?
Study after study shows that employees often feel their bosses are volatile and childish when it comes to getting (or not getting) their way. Very often it is the superior who needs a paddling; the HR rulebook just doesn’t address office corporal punishment. So what do the rule books say about our options?
Quite honestly, they expect us to be the bigger person. Much like parenting, psychologists teach that when a child is throwing a temper tantrum, the parents’ best defense is to let the child scream and cry its way to sleep. I think the same is true for grownups…
Be Inspired
Posted by: | CommentsI have a new mantra; it’s a two word sentence: Be Inspired! It came up in a culture meeting at Rockhouse this week and it struck me as a powerful suggestion. Being motivated…is nice, being driven…is good, being inspired…is the most passionate description I can imagine that encompasses all the right reasons we are motivated and driven to achieve anything and everything. I like it, I’m keeping it, I want to live it!
Pantanjali, who is credited with developing yoga, summed up the premise of living an inspired life like this, “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
Yep, that’s the story ending I want; to be a greater person than I ever dreamed I would. I’m not sure how murky the waters are between inspiration and motivation or inspiration and desire, but when I weigh the words against each other, inspiration wins out on its unselfish and “bigger than me” qualities.
Perpetuating Positivity
Posted by: | CommentsThere’s an old quote from Al-anon that says, “fake it ’til you make it.” The mantra is also refered to as the “act as if” way of being and is a common catchphrase that means to imitate confidence so that as the confidence produces success, it will generate real confidence. The purpose is to avoid getting stuck in a self fulfilling prophecy related to one’s fear of failure. I like the premise; I love the results. A mindset like that can only perpetuate positivity!
Think about the stark contrast between wallowing in fear with a lack of confidence and walking in confidence with an abundance of self-assurance…which one do you think will provide the quickest path to success? If I was a betting person, I’d say the latter. But succeeding is a funny thing…without dozens or maybe even hundreds of failures along the way, we wouldn’t have the capacity to shift our mindset to realign our goals. Failure may very well be one of the key to success and faking it until you make it may be the stepping stones to take you there.
Sum of the Parts
Posted by: | CommentsAs Alfred Lord Tennyson once said, “I am a part of all that I have met.” I happen to agree. And that is one of the things I love about myself; the fact that I have taken away little pieces of all the wonderful people I have met in my 44 years. I guess you can say that’s one of the things I love about other people. It sounds a little strange saying, “I love that part about me that is made of up other people,” but it is something to cherish. I also happen to remind myself that taking in all the good stuff and leaving the bad stuff behind is an important part of the process. Receiving knowledge, habits, beliefs, and practices are a good thing…as long as the knowledge, habits and beliefs are good ones. Oftentimes we pick up bad practices and even bad energy and before we know it, we’re in a funk. It’s funny, but it is easier to adapt to poor habits than it is to adapt to good ones. There are countless books and articles out there teaching us 7 good ways to do this or 5 things to avoid, but did you know that where there is good, also can you find bad and of course, the converse. I’m not saying that every time you see something good, look for the negative; I’m saying that it can be there, so be aware.
Stand Up and Take Responsibility
Posted by: | CommentsI once heard that success in life is not measured by what we have accomplished, but by the obstacles that we have had to face…and most importantly, the obstacles we have overcome. I read something similar recently in a book that taught me to assume full responsibility for my life, my circumstances and my troubles; to embrace even the problems in a way that actually makes them dissipate. I’ve written about this before but it seems we forget. When reacting to most stressful situations we first turn to our intellect when we more than likely should be turning to our gut for guidance. We sometimes forget what works because we rely on our rationale instead of our instinct. The particular “prayer” I practice is called H’oponopono where I assume responsibility for whatever is inside of me that is causing the problem I am facing. It’s a lot of responsibility for one little person, but it is liberating. And assuming responsibility for every problem I see is easier when you think of the facts…facts a wise mentor once explained as, “the ONLY person involved in all of your problems is YOU!” What a revelation. It’s a new way of being for me, this responsible party thing, but I can say with confidence that it has contributed to some amazing transformations in my life.
Getting Over the Procrastination Hump
Posted by: | CommentsWhat is it that causes us to put things off we know we should do? Is there a psychology to procrastination? Is there a cure? I took a trip inside Psychology Today to learn there really is an art and science to procrastination:
- Twenty percent of people identify themselves as chronic procrastinators.
- It’s not trivial, although as a culture we don’t take it seriously as a problem. It represents a profound problem of self-regulation. And there may be more of it in the U.S. than in other countries because we are so nice; we don’t call people on their excuses.
- Procrastination is not a problem of time management or of planning. Procrastinators are not different in their ability to estimate time, although they are more optimistic than others.
- Procrastinators are made not born. Procrastination is learned in the family system, but not directly. It can be a response to an authoritarian parenting style.
- Procrastination predicts higher levels of consumption of alcohol among those people who drink.
- Procrastinators tell lies to themselves. Such as, “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow.” Or “I work best under pressure.”
Are You Homophonebic?
Posted by: | CommentsAre you afraid of using the correct part of speech or the correct spelling or usage of a word? Even more frightening, does it make you shiver when intelligent people (like your superiors) misuse common words that were differentiated at least in the 8th grade?
With the advent of social networking, texting and IM’ing we commonly use acronym’s like LOL and TTYL; and take short-cuts by using words like thru instead of through, so it’s no wonder folks can’t remember how to spell correctly let alone use the correct homophone or homonym. As a reminder, homophones are those words that are pronounced the same way but differ in meaning or spelling. Homonyms may be two words that are spelled the same but have different meanings.
This article stemmed from my apprehension every time I attempt to say “yippee” via text or on Facebook and find myself contemplating whether it’s “Yay, Yeah, or Yea.” Maybe I should just use “yippee?” Anyway, because MY friends are smarter than anyone else’s, I enlisted them to set the records straight. It was unanimous; yippee should be communicated as Yay in the real world! It’s official. So, in that vein, I’m here to hopefully shed some light on the many misuses of our native tongue due to their homophonal qualities. I’d like to give thanks to my friend John for his insights and fodder.
Tell Me My Baby’s Ugly
Posted by: | CommentsReposted from March 15, 2009.
I don’t have kids so it’s easy for me to say. I know it sounds harsh, but if I did have kids I’d really rather know. So often in business we are forced to work with people who won’t go to that place of, “tell it like it is,” and it’s frustrating for the rest of us who want to know the ugly truth. I’m not suggesting you lose all regard and respect for common decency, I am asking you to be the person who’s known for telling the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s a place you’ll share with few, but be respected by many. None of us want to hear bad news, but quite frankly once we hear it we can then begin to process it and even resolve it.
