If you’re going to make it you’ve got to connect.

And you’ve read the rules – dress well, be sincere, be interested in the other person, follow-up to develop and build relationships, and so on.

Does it still sound intimidating? So much so that you’re still holding back?

Or maybe you’ve put a toe in the water to give it a try but feel like you’re still not quite getting the hang of it?

Try these three key strategies to make your networking efforts that much more successful.

Network In Your Own Way

It has been nearly 15 years, but I can still remember the amused, sideways glance a colleague shot in my direction when I asked whether he entertained clients socially on a regular basis. He was right to give me “the look.” A reserved  introvert with a magnificent brain he was the opposite of a social butterfly and it should have been obvious that socializing with clients was not a priority for him. No doubt he would sooner have a root canal without anesthesia than entertain regularly. He did, however, maintain a wide professional network.

How did he do it?

By being true to himself.

That colleague picked situations which he found manageable, went to these however briefly, and was himself when he was there. He made connections.  He maintained these connections by showing up again and again and also by having additional contacts in ways that were more comfortable for him– sending a personal note or making a quick phone call.

You can mimic this technique to carry out your networking within your own comfort zone.

Does going to a completely unfamiliar organization sound like a bit too much? Start your networking at an internal company event. Or at a community gathering at your gym or local school.

Do you hate the idea of going alone? Grab a friend and make a plan to attend jointly – not joined at the hip but in concert so you’ll have someone to talk to if it is slow.

Zero in on what it is that makes networking feel hard for you and see if you can do something to minimize the challenge. Count an event as a success if you go for just a short period of time; or give yourself a reward for staying longer or talking to more than one person.

Building some connections in this easier and more manageable way will give you confidence to reach out even more.

Take The Time To Develop Relationships In One Group Before Branching Out to Another

In the long run, networking is about the relationships you build and how they support your career and allow you to support others. Building relationships is central to making this happen.

Relationships aren’t built merely by introducing yourself with a memorable “elevator pitch” at a meet and greet event. They require a quantity of contact and a quality of dialogue. Once you’ve chosen to include a specific group in your networking program, make the effort to interact with its members:

• Attend meetings regularly
• Join a committee or take a volunteer post
• Add the group members you meet to your LinkedIn network, facebook tribe or Twitter feed, as appropriate.
• Make outside of meeting contact with people you want to get to know better – exchange information, tips or just a social wave to build community.

Applying these techniques consistently will take an investment of time. Your return will be a web of relationships within that group that will makes you feel as if you belong.  When you feel comfortably settled on the path to create those relationships in one group you can devote a similar level of attention to another one. In other words, your network will grow and you can then grow it further.

Consider Creating Networking Goals

In some ways the broad mandate to “build a network” itself can feel overwhelming. Setting some networking goals is a good way to break the task down into manageable, more comfortable parts.

Let’s say you’ve decided you should expand your contacts amongst your professional peers. You know there are several ways you can do that. You might:

• join a local alumni association
• join the local chapter of a national professional organization
• attending an upcoming conference
• find ways to meet people with similar job descriptions in other nearby companies.

None of these options are leaping out at you and taken as a group they sound like an enormous chore.

Let’s say instead that you set a goal of expanding your peer group by 4 people per month for the next 3 months. At the end of 3 months you will have grown your network by at least 12 people.  In the meantime, though, instead of focusing on the big task of broadening contacts with professional peers you can focus on the smaller, manageable task of meeting 1 new person each week.

You can use goals to break down other networking goals into more manageable tasks in a similar way. Once they’re resized, networking goals frequently become more attainable because they feel more less overwhelming.

Try applying these three techniques to your own networking efforts. And see if they make this important, ongoing task,  a big more manageable for you over time.

Anne Clarke is an executive and personal coach specializing in supporting women in achieving their professional goals. For more information about her services visit her website www.setting-and-achieving-goals.com

 Why then do many business professionals treat themselves and their own career marketing tools with substandard expectations?  As a career strategist and resume writer, pricing of services is one of the top #3 questions asked of clients.  Certainly understandable and always welcome! 

 If you are willing to spend money on high end clothing, hair salon upkeep or high end handbags, perhaps you may want to redistribute where you are investing your hard earned dollars.  Are you buying into someone else’s brand or are you taking care of your own?

 While most professionals realize the time, complexity and strategic writing that goes into developing a solid and effective marketing tool, there are always a few folks who see their resumes as a typeset piece of paper tracking the basics of their work history asking, “Why does it cost so much”?  

Top 5 Reasons Professionally Written Resumes Cost Money

 You are paying for a customized marketing tool reflecting your most important commodity…YOU.  Customized, one-on-one marketing takes time and a specialized set of skills from a writer who has the ability to dig deep into extracting your key skills and accomplishments.

1. A behavioral based trained professional writer has a unique skill set in individualizing and interpreting your core competencies in writing.  This takes credentialed training and years of practice which is more than just being a technical writer.
2. Strategic writing and appropriately targeting a clients goal is factored into a professionally written resume.  When I am asked to write a general resume, I educate potential clients that this is not a service that I offer.  A general resume is as useful as trying to catch a variety of fish using one type of bait. 
3. Researching industry trends, verbiage and current job marketing opportunities takes time.  Behind the scenes, a top notch resume writer is busy collaborating with industry peers, researching web sites and bringing forward new information to support the needs of the client.
4. Credentials cost money.   Most writers have a varied assortment of credentials, education and training to support their writing.   For a writer who is continuing to learn, refine skills, seek out new credentials and advanced exposure to global assessment programs, know that the cost of doing business will be aligned according to skills being offered.

 Lesson:  Invest in your professional brand by having the appropriate tools. If you are going to drive a fancy car, wear high end heels or expensive jeans, become truly authentic and coveted by having a top notch resume in your tool kit.

Most of us then find the safe space of the middle ground where fast and slow are dependent on the territory.

So it is with all relationships. Sometimes a hug is perfectly timed, in other situations a metaphorical “right to the jaw” is called for. In all partnerships, all life happenings, it is all in the timing.

Margaret Thatcher was a woman leader who had a great sense of timing. She was strong and gracious. She entered the territory of male domination early on and set the stage for women to follow, to learn the art of push and pull.

I am reminded of a Margaret Thatcher story: she was disappointed with her cabinet, one she felt was weak and unwilling to take stands. Her frustration came out at a dinner, so it has been told, when the waiter taking meal orders asked her “Chicken or Steak” to which she replied “Steak please”. Next question was “And what about the vegetables”. She looked up and said “Oh, they will have steak also”.

We are now in an era where the fine art of timing is even more important because the world is moving so fast. There is not the luxury to ponder, to hesitate. As women, we need to become experts in timing, when to hug and when to hit.

Patterns of behavior handed from generation to generation have kept many women in the “hug” category. Often, the extreme of “hit” has been indiscriminate. This is a major learning process for men as well as women, and what we can learn from leaders like Margaret Thatcher is not so much about policy perspectives as about the push and pull of power.

The most important learning for leaders is how to find that magic balance.

These questions came to mind after a recent coaching session with a long-standing client, Jen H. (not her real name). We were discussing goals.  It wasn’t our first conversation on the topic. As soon as she accepted the new position, a lateral move after nearly 15 years in a similar post at a different company, we set goals for the first 90 days on the job.

The first few months went well. She asked if I would help her set goals for the next year. I did and that went well. We did the same thing the next year. As the months passed a positive review and hefty bonus confirmed that she remained on track.

This year Jen had a different question.  Instead of asking for my help in setting goals she said she had set some goals for the coming year and was hoping she could run them by me. I agreed and she rattled off a list of 3 objectives that would definitely serve her well in the months to come.  We honed the list to include a strategic component and once again the ball is in her court to make it happen.

Jen’s experience with goal setting on the job offers two important lessons.  It illustrates, first, the power of goal setting.  Jen is an extremely intelligent, talented professional with a terrific record. Working with goals essentially let her stack the deck on the new job from day one. She wasn’t just offering her excellent professional contribution. From the very first she had a personal agenda stating clearly what progress she wanted to make at the company. Her list of goals created a roadmap that she could reference to support and direct the process of making new connections and establishing herself in her new position.

Jen clearly internalized the benefit goal setting offered her smooth upward trajectory in the now-not-so-new company. How can we tell? This year she wasn’t asking whether we could set goals. Instead, she had carried out the process herself to get that direction on paper. Our conversation allowed refinement of an existing workable plan.

Job-based goal setting can enhance your performance in a similar fashion. Do you have goals for the job? Do they take into account not just what the company wants to see from you but what you want to make happen at the company?

Goals that track what the company wants allow you to meet or exceed expectations. They expose weak spots, if any, and point the way to necessary improvements and enhancements. You may set these goals collaboratively with your managers as part of a review process. Or you may create them on your own based on both formal and informal feedback. These goals tend to focus on performance questions such as what you will do, what deliverables you will produce, or what profits you’ll generate.

The best goal setting is also strategic in that it goes beyond your present position and focuses on your career and “Brand You.”  When setting these goals the question is what path is your professional trajectory taking.

Do you have a well developed network at your present company? Do you also have a carefully tended external network?

Are you a visible presence inside and outside the firm or do you toil without recognition? What are you known for? Does this reputation shortchange some of your key contributions? Can you do something about that?

What about your future hopes? Do you have the training, education and experience you’re going to need to jump to the next level? How does your salary compare to what you would like to be earning at this point or in five years? Is there something you can do in the near term to get it from where you are right now?

A goal setting session addressing these questions systematically and comprehensively is something you can carry out in as little as half a day. The task involves taking a careful, accurate look at yourself on the job and as an independent professional.  Comparing what you find to where you would like to be next year is the next step. The goals you create flow naturally from this analysis. They state what you need to do to close the gap between today and that desired destination.

Get going and get goal setting.  You will find the path to excellence easier and more direct if you do. And you deserve that success.

For free goal setting worksheets and to learn more about setting professional goals visit Anne Clarke’s website www.setting-and-achieving-goals.com.

The women’s movement began quietly with a book “The Feminine Mystique”, moved to bra burning, and gained traction with consciousness raising groups.

All of that seems like it was centuries ago.

We now head large organizations, are in key positions in government, and have a say in just about everything. Yet some of the pleaser and martyr behavior patterns that were handed from generation to generation are still dying a slow death.

Just watch “Mad Men” and remember how it was. You worked if you typed and delivered. No not ideas – merely the coffee to the men. While much has changed, there is more work to be done.

This is a year of both celebrating change and dialoguing about what still needs to change. CELEBRATION: in the next few months women will cross the threshold and become the majority workers in America. CELEBRATION: women professionals are in the majority in this country. CELEBRATION: women have become economically powerful in their own right.

What is the next phase of the revolution toward equality, and even beyond that, toward partnership?

Perhaps we need to regroup and create consciousness-raising groups that mirror the 60’s. Maybe this time it needs to include both men and women. While we need to celebrate the successes, we really need to ask the hard questions that remain unanswered for ourselves, our children, and even our grandchildren.

My daughters are grown, and I am now watching the dilemmas and concerns about what it means to raise children in a world that is going at warp-speed. What does it mean to run a business, run a household, and still have time for the kids?

I believe the dialogues of today are around the unfinished business of the past. The issues are around motherhood, and fatherhood. The issues at the deepest level are about the children. If we have them, then who raises them?  What kind of support is needed to bring out the best in the next generation?

This is where the pleaser and martyr patterns of the past, so deep in the neuropsychology of most women, kick in. Women still appear to be the ones who make the plans for the youngsters, take off the time if they are sick, and worry about grades, friends and drugs. Sure, dads are included, yet it still seems that mothers are carrying the heaviest part of the load. That has not really changed.

I am not suggesting we demand that our men vacuum and make the oatmeal. That discussion belongs to each couple to sort out. I am thinking way bigger than that. I am wondering if we can look at the countries that have offered families more help, looking especially at Norway and Sweden.

What do we need to do to change, so the next generations grow to be the best they can be? When do we as women take the pleaser and martyr parts of our personalities and transform them into their positive opposites – the truth teller and the integrator? What are the questions that need to be asked to sort out the dilemma of what we can do, what our businesses can do, and what government can do?

I’d love to hear from you with ideas about creating life-enhancing programs that can deter so many of the social problems connected with the new world of work we have helped create, and the burdens of parenting at every level of our society.

Let’s start a 21st Century rendition of consciousness-raising, and keep the revolution for healthy and balanced evolution at the forefront of our lives.

I was meeting with the top decision-makers at a client organization recently to plan out an important event for 2010. As we began to discuss the speakers they had invited to participate, and the ones they planned to recruit, I realized there wasn’t a single woman – or minority – among them. Though, in fairness, the organization is about three-quarters male, it still was baffling to me that they were oblivious to the fact that they had reeled off eight white males as speakers without a thought to diversity. My clients are really good people who are intelligent, open-minded, creative and curious. But not once did any of them consider the issue of balance in gender – or race, or anything else for that matter.
When I spoke up and pointed out the issue, there was a collective pause – and then, as they “got it,” a change in direction.

It made me think about the issue of balance in women’s representation.

I believe, in most cases, the reasons for lack of appropriate balance are not due to a Machiavellian plot, but to history “the way it’s traditionally been”, staying in a comfort zone “the people with whom I eat lunch or play golf”, and obliviousness to the issue “I’m just choosing people I know who fit the bill.” This line of reasoning ignores 50% of the population and 50% of the workforce – and the importance of including them in leadership and decision-making. It also doesn’t take advantage of women’s fresh perspectives and different experiences, nor does it take into account their value as consumers and constituents.

And, a token woman won’t be of much value, according to a study which reported that having three women on a corporate board seemed to change the paradigm by boosting women as a minority status and enhancing their contributions. Disturbingly, Catalyst’s 2009 Census shows that less than one-fifth of the 496 companies they polled have three or more women Executive Officers and almost one-third of these companies have NO women Executive Officers. So much for critical mass.

What can women do to improve the statistics?

It is important for women to build open and effective networks in order to become better known. Understanding the importance of making key contacts internally in your organizations as well as externally is vital. Women must also be unafraid to take more risks and learn to be more strategic in terms of career growth. Using mentoring effectively is another tool to help you get your name and talents known to the right people. And, finally, learn to navigate the politics of your organization or company and don’t shy away from leadership positions.

If we keep our eyes open to inequities in gender balance and we make our observations known, I’m convinced progress can be made in this area. However, it will take a critical mass of voices to change the status quo. So let’s all put this on our “to do” list for the new year!

What do you think? Please join the conversation!

Nancy Pennebaker, a senior consultant with our organization, Creative Energy Options, Inc. (CEO) sent this to me for both the humor and the depth of the message. Our company motto, “we are all connected and no one wins unless we all do”, is embedded in the following short article. It shows that this issue of image is one that is a world issue.

Notice that the sign in the window of an exercise studio and the answer are from France, where the image of gorgeous models in clothes by Yves St. Laurent, Chanel et a.l became the standard of beauty.

This is a time for us to say what really matters and stand for changes, so that the future is not trapped in the girdles of the past.

Why Differentiate?

Much like a business, brand awareness, credibility, and association of product are important.  Human capital in the workforce can benefit by applying her own brand to her professional self. 

In an experience educating employees on professional branding, I shared my most closely guarded daily motivational strategy.  “My day begins by going to work for Kashlak, Inc.”  Chuckles and curious grins gleaned my way and silence fell upon the room of leadership.

Explaining my line of thinking further, the room quickly realized the value of having a professional brand.  For the visionaries and innovators, enthusiasm and buzz elevated the room for the remainder of the session. 

It was in that three syllable comment, Kashlak, Inc. that my brand was established amongst 85 clients.  They “got it”!  Innovation, risk, and commodity were just a few of the immediate perceptions. 

As human resources professionals take on more than ever, risk mitigation, healthy human capital psyche, and strategic innovation are all consuming.

Asking employees to identify their brand is as simple as developing a brand for a business.  What do you want to be known for?   What are your best attributes?  What is your greatest brag? 

 The Payoff.

Helping employees understand professional brand differentiation in the workplace will lead to an overall healthy psyche of employees as long as the brands are exercised on a regular basis.  The three D’s are crucial during the first 30 days of this exercise and must be reinforced by the department head.

The benefits of differentiating include:

•         No cost to the company as the exercise can be set up simply during a standard meeting.
•        Increased self esteem, covetable skills, and increased productivity.  
•        A focus on natural strengths and talents.
•        Individualization and self worth.
•        Appreciation of strengths in others.
•        Elevated internal resource identification by employee for special projects or expert advice.
•        Retention of top talent.
•        Leveraging talent strengths which are visible and respected in functioning teams.
•        Many more!

 Do not wait…Differentiate!! 

 Get Moving!!

Often the best way to say “vive la difference” is through humor. Stephen Kapustin, a lawyer in Philadelphia is a graduate of our Total Leadership Connections program. He is a seeker of truth through humor,  and has sent me so many funny articles to get my laughter valve open on many a dreary day.

The following has so many elements of deep truth. Women love to explore the emotions of a situation, while many men want to get to the solution quickly and move on. Let me know if your male business partners remind you of this guy. I must admit that my business partner, who is also my husband, would respond like the man in the column.

In fact, when I showed this to Herb, he looked at me and said “So, what’s funny about that?” What answer would you give to that question???

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