I haven’t read Kelly Cutrone’s new memoir yet, If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You, but the title got me thinking. How many times have I seen women crying on the job? Why would anyone want to stay at a job that brings them to tears??

This got me thinking about a couple of jobs that I had in the past and the several women that I saw crying. This isn’t about women being emotional or not being tough enough to handle the work they were doing. Also, the field of communications and PR is definitely female dominated, so the chance of seeing more women in tears than man in these competitive environments is higher (just wanted to throw that out there to clarify  for the feminist in me).

This was about unfair situations and horrible bosses that made these women cry. Now, it’s never professional to cry in the workplace, so I agree with Cutrone’s title – but shouldn’t crying be a sign of a much bigger problem at the workplace? And why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?

I worked in these same environments and experienced the same pressure, stress and injustice as these other women did, but it never brought me to tears – mind you, I didn’t stay at those jobs and I knew I deserved better. But does this point to a bigger problem? Are we ignoring signs that our workplaces are becoming too much to handle? Stress and unhappiness can lead to many health problems you know.

This leaves me wondering, should we leave the jobs that make us cry or is the problem that we just need to suck it up and get tougher?

It’s an old, stale trick. You call a well-know crowd pleaser you’d like to have as keynoter for your next event and ask her if she believes in “free speech”. When the answer is a predictable “yes”, you offer her the opportunity to come and deliver a speech – for free!

Dee Dee Myers, Suze Orman, and Sarah Palin do not have to travel around the country to give free speeches. They are handsomely compensated, whether for personal income or for charity giving. Speaking is their job and kudos to them for getting paid for what they’re good at. That’s the way it ought to be.

But, when we look at speaking as one of the three legs of a personal marketing plan (see March 7 and February 28, 2010 posts), then getting paid is not the objective.

It has often been said that if you are a speaker, you ought to publish a book and if you are an author, you ought to develop a speaking strategy. Very true, but let’s not confine our thinking to these two activities.

Among my recent clients have been a sales executive with 3 decades of global experience, a sustainability expert who is a whiz at using technology to link an enterprise’s disparate departments together, and a rocket scientist (a real one!) who speaks the language when it comes to complex partnership strategies. All three are in front of audiences frequently, none is a paid speaker, all are furthering their employers’ businesses and their own careers when they accept and execute speaking or paneling engagements.

Every time Peggy Parks, an Atlanta-based international image consultant accepts a “free speech” invitation, she attracts clients for wardrobe consultations, personal shopping expeditions or etiquette training.

When Barbara Giamanco addresses a conference break-out session’s audience, she encounters attendees who open corporate doors for her Social Media training business.

No matter whether your business is web development, cheese making, financial consulting or arranging cruise vacations, if you have the talents and skills to tell a story, there are audiences for you out there. And after they have heard from you, some will hire you to do their web site revamp, buy your cheese for their new restaurant, let you set up a savings and investment plan for their family or book an exotic cruise for their next birthday.

But if speaking does not work for you, then remember there is also writing and networking. Select the practice that best suits you and exploit it. As I’ve already said earlier: marketing is simple – you’ve just got to do it.

Have you ever been at work and found it very difficult to focus or think clearly when you needed to? More and more studies are showing that nutrition and exercise directly impact improvements in cognitive function and help the mind actually function better.  If you think about it, it really does make sense.  If we break it down, when you eat you are fueling your body, not just to have energy to do all the things you need to do in a day physically, but also to feed your mind. 

 When you exercise, you are increasing the oxygen flow through your body and breaking up that stagnant, slowing effect that can become apparent when you are lethargic and not eating well.  Have you noticed people who regularly run or exercise as well as pay attention to eating well in your office? Often they are the ones with annoyingly high energy, friendly attitudes and on top of their game with ideas and organization with their work!

 A U.S. News & World Report health article reported a study on 124 men and women to show a difference in high blood pressure from added healthy diet and fitness, but also showed improvements in cognitive function.  The two things focused on in this study were eating and exercise. In terms of eating, they focused on reducing portion sizes and altering habits like snacking.  For exercise, it was a minimal program which consisted of 30-minute workouts 3-4 times each week.  This study was done for the duration of 4 months and showed a 30% improvement on average in mental function. 

 In my humble opinion, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise.  There have been numerous studies showing drastic improvements in children’s behavior patterns and ability to learn in schools that had healthy lunch programs.  Why would it be any different for adults?  It is amazing, however, to think that there could be as much as 30% improvement in your cognitive activity from just four months.  This should be enough to inspire each and every one of us to change our bad habits, as we could get more done and be more efficient in our work without it being a struggle or depending on that fourth cup of coffee to carry us through!

Donna Satchell, an Atlanta-based speaker, writer and trainer, knew from the start, after leaving her corporate position at Clairol, that as a trainer she had to develop a marketing strategy that would work for her. Whether it worked for others was not a concern of hers – she was out to build her own business, not anyone else’s.

Writing and publishing became important tools right off the bat. In the past six years, she has co-authored seven books, in addition to numerous articles, which she has used effectively to build a business that has made her a popular speaker and trainer and routinely takes her around the country, interacting with diverse audiences, many consisting of employed women who dream of someday owning businesses of their own.

Donna’s initial decision to publish led her to join with others to self-publish books in her areas of focus: leadership, time management and communications. Selling books is not, however, her main motive for writing. She uses her books as door openers for her speaking and training business.

This is what Jody Gabourie (see February 28, 2010 post) had in mind when she identified “writing” as one of the three vehicles we should consider using when, as small business owners, we go out to explore new markets.

Purists will advocate against self-publishing, and I will not quibble with them, but keep your goal in sight. If it is your goal to become a well-known author, self-publishing is not the recommended tactic. But, as is the case with Donna Satchell, writings that are meant to blaze a path to one’s core business can be self-published. On blogs, they may or may not be found, but in books they are tangible evidence of a person’s expertise. And, when they sell well, they compensate for the “free speech” many consultants seek and accept.

Other examples of self-publishing women who have successfully used writing as a marketing tool include Tricia Molloy (Divine Wisdom at Work), Naomi Tickle (You Can Read a Face Like a Book, Closing the Sale, and What Makes People Tick and Why), and Jeanne A. Heinzer (Living Your Best Life Abroad).

Writing is not everyone’s favorite marketing tool. But if you have a story to tell, and if getting some titles on the market fits into your business plan, consider hiring a co-author or a ghostwriter. It’s more expensive that being a sole author, but if the potential revenue makes it attractive, it should not be overlooked.