How does a Twitter chat work? The moderator of the group will post questions for everyone to tweet about during specific time. Everyone who participates in the chat tags their posts with the hashtag name of the group (i.e. #socialmedia). You can search for the group name and read all of the posts associated with the chat. You can even go back and read the transcripts of the chats if you miss it.

Here is a list of some of my favorite chat groups, along with the time they “meet.”

#4change: monthly discussion of using social media for social change (second Thursday of each month from 5-7 p.m. EST)

#blogchat: bettering your blog (every Sunday from 9-10 p.m. EST)

#brandchat: discussion between experts, strategists and those interested in learning more about personal branding and managing their personal brand (every Wednesday from 11 a.m.-12 p.m. EST)

#engage365: open to association and meeting industry members- focused on social media for events (every Friday from 1-2 p.m. EST)

#journchat: conversation between journalists, bloggers and public relations folks (every Monday from 8-11 p.m. EST)

#pr20chat: discussion of where public relations is heading (every Tuesday from 8-9 p.m. EST)

#sbbuzz: weekly chat about small business for small business owners, techies, social media mavens and folks who love them (every Tuesday from 8-10 p.m. EST)

#smallbizchat: helpful tips and advice geared toward small business startups and those who have been in business for less than five years (every Wednesday from 8-9 p.m. EST)

#socialmedia: advancing the business of social media (every Tuesday from 12-1 p.m. EST)

Find a list of chats and search for transcripts of previous chats at what the hashtag.

Ultimately, today we have to get more quantitative. If what we are doing is not getting tangible RESULTS, we have to make a change. Firms that have come through are doing a few things differently and better than ever before. Here are some of their smart and simple activities:

1.       Focusing on sales and marketing again in an inspired way. The most successful have become more aggressive in messaging their value and benefits and letting their target market know what they do so well. It is simply getting back to a daily focus on the core of what makes a business successful – more sales.

2.       Asking…”What’s the return on investment?” For instance, a seminar or event isn’t successful based on the number of attendees; it’s on the ultimate results and measurable outcomes (ie sales or referrals). Firms are getting increasingly quantitative – as if they were a publicly traded company – imagine that! Sounds simple, but setting a sales objective for everything you do, and reaching it is truly inspiring!

3.       Reorganizing your staff objectives. How is your staff performing? Add a significant, measurable performance element to compensation. You may like your employees personally, but if they cannot meet performance measures, or client survey results are not showing that they are making an impact, then they could be hurting more than helping. Find out who is not a team player. A feud internally can cause significant issues that project onto your clients and prospects on behalf of your staff. And that is never good.

It is simple, but requires focus, strategy and motivation to make some small and large changes. Smart changes. Changes you probably should have made long ago.

Recent research shows that when you are distracted from a creative challenge for a few minutes, you are more likely to come up with a creative solution than if you focused your attention on it. In the study done at the University of Amsterdam, students were given a creative problem to solve. One group was told they had three minutes to think it through before giving their answers. Another group was given an unrelated task to do for three minutes to distract them. This task was a non-creative one that was designed to use their conscious thoughts. The third group was asked to come up with ideas immediately.

What was the result? Well, you might think the group that was given time to focus on a solution would have better results and more creative ideas, but the opposite occurred. It was the distracted group that generated more creative solutions. Here’s the reason given: the distracted group had a task that occupied their conscious thoughts, thereby freeing up their unconscious mind to do some creative work.

Don’t you find this is true yourself? How often have you tried consciously to focus on a creative solution and come up empty?

I remember trying to rename my radio show last January. I spent hours trying to think of a new catchy name. It wasn’t until I let it go and focused on other activities that the answer came to me, Head over Heels!

It’s an incredible “ah-hah” moment when the conscious part of your brain receives the answer from your unconscious.

There is a great lesson here for all of us. When we are attempting to find a creative solution, we need to distract ourselves and do something totally different for a while in order to free our subconscious brain to come up with the answer.

Let yourself be distracted and amazing things will happen.

Have you experienced this?

In this case, the amount of money in the claim was negligible, and my client thought it through and said to me “You know, Sylvia, how you teach that those who remain silent are guilty too; well I decided that healthy changes in the workplace also begin with me.”

So, off we went! The judge, or referee, as he is called was a pleasant man who must sit through dozens of these claims week after week after week.  He was like a repeat of an old television program called Dragnet, where the detectives just wanted the facts, just the facts. He must have repeated that half a dozen times as the woman who wanted her money for being “hostilized” kept adding her emotional spin to everything.

As I sat there, I was amazed at the power of behavior patterns and how they are, well everywhere. The woman who walked off her job, Doris, was a pleasant, though tired looking individual who had the sad eyes of someone who wanted to be heard and yet, mostly melted into the background. I had met her when working with her team and she fit the pattern as martyr perfectly.

The martyr mantle is worn by those who over work, over offer, over do. They want recognition. That would be fine except, it is as if there is a hole in the bottom of their emotional pitcher and no matter what you say, how often you say it, how many kudos you give, it is never enough.

If you can track back to the etiology of the origins of the gaping hole, it is most always the result of childhood trauma. In this case I had warned the supervisor to be wary. Mary, the supervisor was a rescuer and had to mind her manners, so that she would not jump in and spend her time in a heroic attempt to plug the broken part at the bottom of Doris’ emotional pitcher.

I was in my observer mode as I watched the referee look from one side to the other. He interjected quick questions that would get to the heart of the matter. The results will not be available for several weeks. Yet, for me, and the others in the room it was clear that when we stay locked in patterns, when no internal work is done to transform them, sooner or later there is an implosion or explosion.

I was proud of my client for bringing this to the fore. I was delighted that she did not want to hurt her now former employee; rather she wanted to set the record straight. She hoped that this might jog Doris into looking at herself, her life, her whining and her incessant need for acknowledgment.

I doubt that Doris will look. I believe she will go to a next job, and a next, searching for the approval she never got as a small child. However, what I do know is that Mary has become pattern aware. She has learned in the past several months how she locked into the pattern puzzle with her direct report and that wanting to rescue did not make the workplace any better.

Mary is in process of changing her rescuer pattern to its healthy opposite, the mentor. In fact, her entire team is thriving at a whole new level now. They have all taken the pattern aware quiz (www.sylvialafair.com) and are talking once a week at a lunch and learn class about how they can each take their patterns and transform them.

My client is grateful to Doris, sad and grateful. She is also proud of herself; that she did not back down and take the easy route. Think about your work challenges and remember that “he or she who remains silent is guilty too”. Stand up and speak out!

Sure, the goal of every business is to make money- we have bills to pay after all, but what if our goal was to make a difference in the lives of every person we meet, no matter if they are clients or not? What if we made such strong connections with those we “talk” to that they would miss us if we were gone?

Shouldn’t that be our ultimate goal?

Here are some tips to create a business of value and appreciation.

1. Be generous with your knowledge. Sharing real solutions to the problems facing your niche market is more than just a great marketing tool, it shows you care enough about your clients’ success that you are willing to help them for free. While some people may take advantage of your generosity, many will be impressed at your efforts and will remember your kindness when they are ready to hire someone.

2. Give more than expected. Someone may have hired you to design a website, but why do just the basics? Showing them how to create content that improves search engine rankings or giving them ideas on how to keep the site fresh provides your client valuable tools to succeed in their business without feeling nickel-and-dimed by someone more interested in making a profit than providing great service. What additional treats can you provide your clients that exceeds their expectations?

3. Be authentic. This should be a given. Doing anything to gain a client or saying anything to be seen as an expert does not benefit your business or your legacy. People want to work with honest, caring, genuine and authentic leaders, not someone willing to ignore their values for the sake of money.

4. Invest in the success of others. If you really care about the success of your clients, not just so they will keep you on the payroll, but because you believe in what they are doing and truly enjoy watching them grow and thrive, then become devoted to their business.

5. Share your mistakes. Let people learn from your failures so they do not have to go through it themselves. It does not make you look weak or stupid to admit you made a mistake, it makes you human. It is how you handle those mistakes that expose your true character.

6. Show your fun side. All work and no play make you easy to forget. Add personality and character to your business efforts to make it easier for clients to connect with you and enjoy the relationship.

Incorporate a few (or all) of these tips into your business and see how your clients react. I bet they will appreciate your efforts and tell others about your great work. Best of all, your business will mean more to them than just another invoice.

Should you be afraid of social media and the changes and consequences it may bring to your business? It opens your business to the scrutiny of the masses, making you instantly accessible and requires a consistent watch. It depends who you are and what business you are in, but in some cases social media can be a little unsettling. Does that mean we should avoid it? Cross our fingers that it blows over as a passing trend? Well, here are some of the more memorable comments I have heard from financial advisors over just the past several weeks about this topic:

1.    “It’s just another new technology and I really don’t want to learn anything new right now or have my staff wasting time on this.”  Translation: Prove to me social media is valuable and then I will consider venturing into this space.

2.    “My compliance department said I would be terminated if I used any social media, including LinkedIn.” Really?? Most compliance departments have rules set into place, but I had not heard of termination. Don’t risk it!

3.    “I don’t want to share so much with the whole world. My business and its clients should remain private.” Translation: The benefits don’t outweigh the potential for negative consequences.

Ultimately you have to do what is right for your business. There is certainly enough value in social media to make it a part of your business – even a small part.* But first, determine if you are hesitant because you feel out of your personal comfort zone, or if you actually believe there is no benefit to your business.

Social media is not a replacement for the face-to-face communication or your regular marketing. But devoting just one hour per week can be significant in enhancing the contacts you have already made as well as becoming a source for finding new ones. Set up a LinkedIn profile, create a Facebook fan page for your business and begin a blog.*  And, if you have compliance concerns, begin by focusing on your social media as a push not pull method for communication. You can push information out to be seen, but set up your social media sites so visitors will not be able to make any comments on your sites.

Statistics have proven outside of financial services that social media can make a difference in the acquisition of new clients. Within financial services, the same results are happening. Pershing Advisor Solutions LLC conducted a study Creating Growth: The Increased Use of Social Media by Independent Advisors (for the key findings, click on the article link), designed to measure advisors’ use of social media to attract business. The study found that social media does pay off in generating increased revenue or fees and helps in efforts to reach new prospects.

And finally, social media is free. Wouldn’t you use a free tool – for 1 hour per week – if it had the potential of attracting new clients and building your brand? And why oh why would you pass that up unless you have all of the business you already need.

*Consult with your compliance department first if you are a financial advisor

mlbennettconsulting.com

I was watching a business channel, CNBC,  the other day and it struck me – every woman commentator was glamorous and the men, well, not so much. Why, on a television show devoted to business, must the women be on the younger side with lots of hair and make-up – while the men are mostly aging and craggy (read here: normal)? I realize it’s not uniformly the case, but when you think about it, women on TV are too often portrayed as sexy and attractive – frequently in stark contrast to their male counterparts.

There are a number of good examples. In the popular series “House” on FOX, the female character who is head of the hospital (as well as the female docs on the medical team) is gorgeous and wearing improbably low cut tops and skirts two sizes too small. These women may be in charge and brilliant, yet they also are made to look like Barbie dolls. Same situation on many other shows featuring women professionals – I’m sure you can think of some.

Why is this necessary? As a viewer, and speaking for myself only, it’s hard to identify with these perfect creatures. It diminishes their credibility – and perhaps a little of the viewer’s self-esteem. It’s unrealistic – and yes, it’s entertainment – but it is also displaying an image that’s impossible for us ordinary folk to live up  to.  And, if we actually tried to look that way in real life, there would be consequences that television doesn’t portray.

The way we project our workplace image in ‘real life’ influences our colleagues’ perceptions of us and their actions toward us.  The presence we exude either adds to our credibility, or weakens our image.   Too much of anything is a distraction from your message – and not in a positive way. If your outfit is too tight, too short, too low, too loud, too trendy, too accessorized, the focus will be on externals rather than your messaging. If the folks in a meeting are studying the wild earrings you’re wearing, they probably aren’t listening fully to your report. If the guy in the next office is looking at your cleavage, it’s doubtful he’s thinking of your brains and productivity.

Whatever you want to express in your style has to be tempered with reality. If women are to be taken seriously, we cannot emulate most of the women on television – remember, they’re not real!

How do you see it? Please share!

Whether we truly agree or not, when Sarah Palin, Dr. Laura Schlesinger, Ann Coulter, Whoopie Goldberg, Angelina Jolie, and the like state their perspectives, it is our responsibility to align with or dispute in our own words.

More women are in positions of power, albeit, there are way more to come in this decade. Our voices are required. We need to speak out and create the dialogue model that is inherent in our basic personalities. We know how to listen, then ask questions, to collaborate, the make sure all parties are heard and respected.

I dropped the ball several years ago when I was listening to Laura Schlesinger on the radio as I was driving from here to there. I got so annoyed I started to backtalk to the radio, no one else in the car, and the radio and Laura didn’t hear or care what I was saying.

In a nutshell: a caller was getting married and was having a tough time pleasing her mother who wanted less people, she wanted more, mother wanted yellow she wanted deep purple, mother wanted, she wanted.

The advice she was given made me furious. “Take her off the wedding list. Tell her she is not invited. Have the day for you and forget about her.” I yelled for the young woman to hear me: “You cannot ever get rid of your parents even if you ignore them. Make peace with them, work it out.”

Schlesinger was relentless. The bride to be agreed to consent to this determined voice and tell her mother to in effect, “get lost”.

I did some research on the good Dr. and realized she was working out her own “stuff” on this vulnerable woman. Schlesinger had not spoken to her own mother for almost 20 years before her death in 2002. The mother’s body was found in her condo two months after she had died from heart disease.

Now, as a leadership educator, relationship expert and family therapist I do understand there are times we have to create strong boundaries to move beyond stuck places. I also know there are the human universals of life that follow us wherever we go. One is the parent child bond. It is best to make peace with our parents and them with us.

When we are in positions of power, when others are ready and willing to listen to us it is better to be a mentor rather than a rescuer. My take on Dr. Laura is that she has spent her life searching for a strong person to tell her what to do, perhaps what she wanted from her parents and never got as a little one.

In “Don’t Bring It to Work” the behavior pattern of rescuer can be transformed into the mentor by learning how to ask questions and by handing those who listen to you the gift of thinking through their own personal responsibility.

Women are gaining a stronger voice with each year. We need to use it wisely.

With the advent of social networking, blogging and do-it-yourself website-creation people can say whatever they like; true or false. Many believe that if it’s on Facebook, Google or worse yet, YouTube, it must be true. Thus begins the familiarity with the ugly truth of renegade journalism and activist rhetoric and some of the clowns who speak merely to hear the sound of their own voice. It’s unfortunate. I’d like to think the viewing audiences are smart enough to realize their own truths, but sadly in large part they are not. And as Jack Nicholson so eloquently stated in A Few Good Men, they probably “couldn’t handle the truth!”

Take election campaigns for instance, some political “strategists” have no conscience when stretching truths or pulling verbiage out of context. They think, strike that, they KNOW their voters won’t know the difference and they are counting on our laziness in seeking the facts; they count on our ignorance. That offends me more than anything!

If I were tuning in to American television during an election year, I would think that Americans were the most dishonest, morally bankrupt and crazy people I’ve ever seen – at least if election campaigns were all I had to judge them by. It’s not an attractive portrayal of democracy in my opinion. Democracy wasn’t supposed to look like that! Freedom of speech wasn’t supposed to look like that either. It’s an ugly truth.

I was on the receiving end of that kind of ugly this week. My first reaction was to retaliate. My second was to write down all the facts and make sure my “attacker” knew all the truths. My third reaction? I was hurt. I was shaken and hurt. Thankfully, I didn’t retaliate and I didn’t stuff facts down their throat (but I really, really wanted to). The hurt has stayed with me a while. I was starting to feel like a victim; the victim of politics on an entirely different level. Talk about ugly. Being a victim is NOT the most flattering role for me or for anyone. I really wanted to address every untruth and tell them and everyone the truth, but truth is not what these people are interested in; making crazy accusations to get noticed, is. I wrote two comments, three emails and four Facebook posts that I never sent. I had to get it out of my system…but still, I felt victimized.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when it’s much easier to be the victim. You can garner sympathies and rally people to “see it your way.” It feels good to bask in piety and righteousness. It would feel so good to tell everybody that I’m right; people know I’m right and those other people are wrong so all shall be right with the world! Wrong! It’s not so simple.

One time at an educational seminar, I learned that as long as someone MUST be right, then someone else MUST be wrong.  And trying to CONVINCE people to agree with you is no better than your offender’s initial jab.  We all think that if people agree with “our side of the story” then the other person MUST be wrong, making us out to be the “winner.”  I’ve written about it before, but nobody wins if someone has to be wrong.  It’s physically impossible for someone to be right without making the other party out to be wrong.  It’s physics.

So winning wasn’t really in my cards today.  Ah, the conscious decisions of higher ground.  But I have to make that choice today: to be the victim or to rise above it.  After a little kicking and screaming and venting and unsent emails, I rose above it.  And eventually, I even meant it!  I responded with kindness.   I chose to not make them wrong for their opinion, but to encourage them for the one right thing they had done.  It wasn’t easy, and in some way, I guess I won in the end; if winning is measured in how you respond to the ugly truths of other people’s realities.