Are we sabotaging ourselves?

March 5, 2014 by Ashley Nialetz
Career Development

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It’s time to stop sabotaging and start ruling!

I was recently asked to be a part of a start up app development company. I was brought into this very promising company as an owner, me…the only woman in a group of 4 people total.  I felt honored and pretty bad*ss :)  I have a lot to contribute and a lot of skills and experiences to share as this is a tech centered company which is sort of my forte, and I am the only one currently running my own business.

What I didn’t expect was finding myself occasionally not totally sharing my thoughts, or knowledge…simply to avoid a confrontation or to just avoid having to explain myself all together.  I caught myself a couple of times and couldn’t figure out why I felt that way!  I am working with a group of great guys, none of them even once have made me feel like I shouldn’t speak up, or didn’t have an equal say at all…yet somehow I still found myself acting that way.  It was like I was sabotaging myself without even realizing it.  Thankfully, one of these men is a good friend and called me and told me to cut it out and pointed out that I was here because I am good at what I do, and was useless if I wasn’t going to be me.

I snapped out of it. But it got me thinking…here I was acting this way and not giving my whole self with just a small group…a small group that had chosen me specifically for this job.  How many women out there bite their tongues, or back down to avoid a confrontation, and don’t bring their whole selves to the job in companies, boardrooms, meetings all over the world every day?

Are we actually hurting these companies for the sake of not wanting to deal with backlash, now…there is a fine line between speaking up, telling people what you know and acting like a tyrant; however, I think we know how to toe the line and make sure that we are heard in a respectable and relevant way.  We just need to make sure we are using those skills, and not sabotaging ourselves and possibly a company or a client, etc.

The world needs women, for so many reasons…but you were hired, or opened your business, or whatever it is that you do;  to do a specific job, for a specific reason.  People need you and rely on you.  So don’t do yourself or them a disservice. Makes sure you are giving them your whole self, using all your skills, all your knowledge and bringing the entire experience of who you are and what you want to become.

Be genuine, honest and toe the line ladies…show them who rules the world!

Ashley Nialetz

Ashley Nialetz is a Social Media Consultant and Virtual Assistant through her company www.FatPugTech.com and recently www.Shuteit.com. She is also a wife, mom of two, caffeine addict, customer service pro and superhero by night. She loves working with other women looking to start their own businesses and offers private mentoring programs. Prior to working in the in the virtual assistant world, she had 10+ years of experience in customer service and administrative management roles.

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barbara hoover March 6, 2014 at 4:23 am

Great post Ashley, it always feels good to be motivated every day. How you see yourself will definitely dictate people to treat you the way you wanted to be. Always consider the reason why you are there and act according to it. That would be the greatest way to gain respect from them.

Ivan Widjaya March 9, 2014 at 10:38 pm

I don’t think that you’re necessarily sabotaging yourself if you don’t speak your mind. If that’s how you work, then you don’t need to blame yourself for not standing up or force yourself to change. It is better to run a business based on who you really are and enjoy the process – no pressures.

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