Recently a friend told me she felt like a failure. Her business was sliding, she had found out her husband had been cheating on her and her dreams were falling apart. As I looked at this successful woman with a reservoir of skills, talents, resources and a big heart, I knew where this conversation was going.
She had forgotten about herself, that magnificent, dynamic and powerful individual who had built herself, her business and her home life. She was out of balance. It felt like life as she knew had been taken from beneath her wings and she was in free fall. With the stress of everything around her and the feeling of her reality going up in smoke, she had hit rock bottom. We sat and talked for a while, then she looked at me with a smile and said three things:
- I need to declutter all the garbage I collected (people, places, things and emotional hang ups).
- I need to find that part of myself that helped create this and explore parts of myself that I have neglected.
- I need to reinvent myself.
We smiled at each other, our wine glasses clinked and using the table napkins, we made notes about what needed to go, what could stay and ways to reinvent ourselves. By the end of the night, and two bottles of wine later, we had a plan for her to start with.
That night she knew that things wouldn’t be the same. She realized that the status quo wasn’t actually what she wanted. It had been littered with expectations from her family, friends, educators, society and choices she had made in her youth. The sparkle in her eye told me things were going to be different. Things were going to be done her way. Like a deep-rooted tree in the earth that sways when the winds and storms come, she was branching out into new territory.
Three months later we were back at the same place with the same bottle of wine. When I saw that radiant, smiling face in front of me, she had indeed decluttered, reflected and reinvented! That magnificent, powerful woman who sat before me was back…and yet she was not back. She was different. She was freer, stronger, more confident with a mischievous glint in her eye! As she relayed her story, there were moments of sadness and exhilaration but above all there was an innate wisdom that only a woman knows exuding from her every pore.
My friend taught me when we are faced with upheaval, often there is a reason for it. It’s time to take stock, to see what is working and what is not. A time to declutter, reflect and reinvent! I cheer to that! What are you holding on to? What is holding you back? What are you doing to reinvent yourself?
About the Author
Chiara Marrapodi of Dance of the Soul Hypnotherapy is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist (CCHt.).