Post by Jane K. Stimmler, contributing Women on Business writer Let's face it - communication is complex. How many times you been present in a business conversation and were sure you got it all, only to talk with someone else who was there and find out their interpretation was totally different. Or you're listening to a speaker drone on in a meeting and really … [Read more...]
What I’ve Learned from Radio: How to Listen
This week marks the first anniversary of my radio show, Head over Heels. Now, fifty two weeks later, more than fifty interviews later, and more work than I ever anticipated, the radio show has taken on a life of it’s own. One year ago, I was open to trying something new and learning new skills; how to conduct good interviews; how to find interesting topics and guests; … [Read more...]
In Praise of the Scripted Response
The boutique was packed, perhaps more than usual for even a Saturday afternoon due to the gray drizzle keeping everyone from the beach. My shopping companion, Julia, had found a pair of earrings she liked in a locked case. She asked whether someone could help her take a closer look. The reply was instantaneous. “We’re very busy helping some other people right now so it … [Read more...]
Your Non-Negotiables — Set Them and Abide by Them
What are your non-negotiables? What are the behaviors that you absolutely must-have and absolutely will not tolerate? Over the last five years, I've developed a "manifesto" of sorts that lists out the things that I am willing to work with and more importantly, the things that I will not work with --- at all. This list has helped me sort out "good" projects -- which are … [Read more...]
Get over it! (…the fear of being your own boss, that is)
Lately I’ve been experiencing higher than normal anxiety, the fear that maybe it won’t all work out and heavy reliance on emotional support from friends and family. The reason for acting this way, and being totally uncool, is that I have finally decided to follow my dream of being my own boss. That’s right, after several years of working for others while wishing I was … [Read more...]
You’ll Never Know Until You Ask
Is No really NO or is it an opportunity? Women are much more likely than men to take a “no” as a personal rejection and final answer. In fact, the fear of rejection will often keep us from asking for things we rightly deserve. Let’s look at the situation of a salary negotiation or performance review. Perhaps we were expecting a large raise and only received a small one. … [Read more...]
Breaking the “Instant Response” Cycle
Perhaps it's because of women's hard won reputation as excellent multitaskers. Or perhaps its because we all panic that if we don't put in our two cents instantly, we'll be ignored. But whatever the reason, too many of us have gotten into the nasty habit of being "overly responsive." As soon as our Blackberrys vibrate or we hear the ping of a new email arriving in our … [Read more...]
The Plight of the Pleaser
In graduate school I was in an experiment to see what happens when emotionally laden words are presented to you. The question was “can just one word make a difference in how you react?” I’ll give you the answer straight up, one that I guess you already intuitively know. The answer is “Yes! Words, even simple words, not linked together in a sentence can cause us to shake and … [Read more...]
Without Walls
Honoring the 20th Anniversary of the Berlin Wall tumbling down reminded me of the children’s nursery rhyme-- “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again” Curious verse; so here is my interpretation. When we fall and perhaps feel … [Read more...]
Be Smart About Jumping In
Post by Jand K. Stimmler, contributing Women On Business writer Recently I read an article entitled “On Court’s First Day, Sotomayor Jumps In” which referred to Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s first day on the Supreme Court. The article went on to say that the Justice “displayed no reticence on the first day of her first term on the court…(she) asked many questions and made as many … [Read more...]