Author Archive
The Vulnerable Leader
Posted by: | CommentsThe definition of being vulnerable is to be open to criticism or moral attack; to be susceptible to being wounded or hurt.
I think it goes without saying that most people do not choose to be in a position where they could be easily hurt or criticized. Most of us, in fact, avoid any situation where we could potentially be exposed to this type of scrutiny or risk. Our innate sense of self protection triggers our alert system to avoid vulnerable situations. It’s just too scary.
In my discussion October 19th with author, Birute Regine, I learned that being vulnerable does not necessarily have to be a negative experience. Birute says that embracing your vulnerability can lead you to profound openness and a more evolved way of thinking. When you accept your vulnerabilities, you also accept your shortcomings and see the importance of collaboration. You acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers; that working with others will offer more opportunities and solutions.
In fact, how you deal with your own vulnerabilities defines your leadership style. In the traditional domination culture, men needed to be invincible and heroic. They had to overcome nature and each other to succeed. Early leadership models were created from this hierarchical philosophy.
Is Perfectionism Sabotaging Your Career?
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s absolutely impossible to be perfect. I think on some level we all know this is true. So I think it’s very interesting that many of us live our lives pursuing perfection.
Think about it. How much of your own life is spent trying to be perfect? How much emotional energy do you invest in perfectionism even though you realize it’s not possible to achieve? And, what affect does all this effort have on your life and career? Do you really think that trying to be perfect helps your career?
Perfectionism can, in fact, have a negative impact on your performance at work. If you are setting unrealistic goals for yourself, you are also more likely to have unrealistic expectations for your staff. You are less likely to be approachable and even like able, and of course, you are always under stress which can filter down to others in the workplace.
Here are some suggestions for addressing your perfectionism.
- Acknowledge that this is YOUR stuff.
No one else truly expects you to never make mistakes or be right 100% of the time. We’re not robots after all. (And even robots have technical problems sometimes.)
How Would You Feel if You Lost $500,000?
Posted by: | CommentsHow would you feel if you lost $500,000? $500,000 can buy a lot.
Visualize what $500,000 could mean for you. One half million dollars is more than enough to buy a house. It’s a nice chunk of change to squirrel away in a retirement account that will yield you even more money. $500,000 can mean financial independence and security.
I am asking you how you feel about losing this amount of money because women walk away from the potential of earning $500,000 over the course of their lifetime by their failure to negotiate better salaries.
In her latest book, No Excuses, and during her interview on Head over Heels this week, Gloria Feldt discussed the consequences of women being poor negotiators. She quantified the amount of potential income we lose ($500,000) as a result of not being skillful in negotiating for ourselves.
When we begin our careers, if we don’t negotiate a good starting salary, the impact is substantial over time. The salary of our first position is an important first step that is often the basis of future compensation. The reality is that it is more difficult later in your career to make up for the lower initial salary.
How Much Portable Power Do You Have?
Posted by: | CommentsLast week, I interviewed five time CEO and author Margaret Heffernan on Head over Heels Radio. Our discussion covered many interesting topics relative to women and business, but one that really got my attention was what Margaret refers to as “portable power”.
Portable power according to Heffernan is unique to each person. It is the sum total of your skills and experience, your professional and personal networks, and your financial independence. You own this power and take it with you wherever you go.
I have given this topic more thought and a couple of questions come to mind. How many women are actually aware of their portable power? If they were more connected to their portable power, would they behave differently?
Let’s try to do our own assessment. How would you rate your own portable power as defined by Margaret Heffernan?
1. Skills and Experience
- List all your business and personal skills.
Business: i.e. computer skills, analytical skills, business acumen, selling skills, creativity, problem solving, team player, visionary
Personal: i.e. organized, tenacious, passionate, loving and nurturing, soulful, healthy, focused, outgoing
- List your business and personal experiences
What has your experience in business taught you?
What I’ve Learned from Radio: How to Listen
Posted by: | CommentsThis week marks the first anniversary of my radio show, Head over Heels. Now, fifty two weeks later, more than fifty interviews later, and more work than I ever anticipated, the radio show has taken on a life of it’s own.
One year ago, I was open to trying something new and learning new skills; how to conduct good interviews; how to find interesting topics and guests; how to present valuable information to my listeners. I have had many terrific guests on the show who have taught me a great deal about a variety of subjects such as diversity issues and leadership, negotiation skills, accessing capital, how to use social media to build your business, how to communicate more effectively, how to create and maintain work/life balance, and many more. I am grateful to the generosity of all the women who have been on my show and graciously donated their time and expertise.
How Much of Your Identity is Based on Your Job?
Posted by: | CommentsWhen we lose our job, it can be devastating. Very often it means a dramatic change in income. Our daily routine suddenly changes, and we are left with a tremendous void. After all, most of our waking hours are spent at work. How do we fill the time?
All this is true, but I think the loss of a job means more to us on a much deeper level.
In my recent interview with Dianna Shandy and Karine Moe, we discussed how much of our identity is based on our job or profession. When we leave the workforce, voluntarily or not, we lose that identity.
I love the example they brought up in the interview of their conversation with a women from the UK who said the first question everyone asks in the UK is “Where are you from?” Here in the United States, the first question asked is always, “What do you do?”
What you do defines who you are for better or for worse. A friend of mine who does not work once confided in me that she was embarrassed and struggled with how best to answer that question when asked. She didn’t know how to properly answer it.
Coming up with Creative Solutions
Posted by: | CommentsI am fascinated by the creative process. Do you find that sometimes you are really in sync and great ideas come to you very easily and other times you struggle to even focus for a few seconds on a concept? Have you ever thought about what is happening when you are trying so hard to be creative?
Recent research shows that when you are distracted from a creative challenge for a few minutes, you are more likely to come up with a creative solution than if you focused your attention on it. In the study done at the University of Amsterdam, students were given a creative problem to solve. One group was told they had three minutes to think it through before giving their answers. Another group was given an unrelated task to do for three minutes to distract them. This task was a non-creative one that was designed to use their conscious thoughts. The third group was asked to come up with ideas immediately.
What was the result? Well, you might think the group that was given time to focus on a solution would have better results and more creative ideas, but the opposite occurred. It was the distracted group that generated more creative solutions. Here’s the reason given: the distracted group had a task that occupied their conscious thoughts, thereby freeing up their unconscious mind to do some creative work.
Does it Work to Fake it until You Make it?
Posted by: | CommentsDo you know that low self-esteem can sabotage your career success? In a recent article in Forbes Woman, author Laura Sinberg states that people with low self-esteem often unconsciously sabotage their careers. Sinberg quotes Lois Frankel, PhD, author of Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office.
People with low self-esteem often try to remain under the radar screen because they don’t want to be noticed, but especially in this economy, that is the wrong thing to do.
This quote caught my attention because the focus of my coaching for professional women is to help them create visibility and be on the radar screen of key influencers at work. This is critical for career advancement.
The article also states that, in general, we tend to make assumptions about people who exhibit behavior associated with low self-esteem. One common assumption is that they are not very intelligent. We make these assumptions based on the fact that these people seldom speak up in meetings and if they are called on, they are timid and don’t readily express an opinion.
Other self-sabotaging behavior that is associated with low self-esteem is not asking for raises or promotions. It’s easy to see how all this can negatively impact your career.
What Does it Take to be a Thought Leader?
Posted by: | CommentsLast week I attended a panel discussion at Barclay’s in New York City on the topic of How to Be a Thought Leader. The panel included Nicki Gilmour, CEO of The Glass Hammer, Carol Hymowitz, Editorial Director of Forbes Woman, and Barbara Jones, of Editorial Director of Hyperion Books. The discussion focused on professional women and thought leadership.
According to Wikipedia,
A thought leader is a futurist or person who is recognized for innovative ideas and demonstrates the confidence to promote or share those ideas as actionable distilled insights.
The panel was in agreement that in order to be a thought leader, it’s not enough to be creative and innovative. One must also have the ability and confidence to promote their ideas.
Part of the discussion addressed how women are not really good at speaking up and promoting their ideas; how we often take the back seat to men in the workplace. What is the best way to communicate your ideas so that others will be inspired and motivated to support you?
Is it Possible to be Too Cautious?
Posted by: | CommentsMany thought leaders believe that because women are more cautious, they make better decisions. I believe there is some validity in this especially if you look at the recent events on Wall Street. It’s only speculation of course, but there is a widely held opinion that if there was more diversity at the leadership and board level, this current economic crisis might have been averted. Who knows?
Can this cautious outlook sometimes work against us? It is possible, in my opinion, to be so cautious that you never move forward in your business or career. Being overly cautious can paralyze you.
Almost every major milestone in my own career has been due to me taking an enormous leap of faith and trying something new; something perhaps I was not totally prepared for but decided to embrace regardless. When a door opened, I ran through it and never worried how I would master what was required to be successful in this new opportunity. I’m not saying that every time I took a risk, it worked out well. There have been times that I have fallen flat on my face. When this happens, it’s important to dust yourself off, gather your wits about you, and start all over again. In other words, never let your failures prevent you from learning a lesson, picking yourself up, and seizing the next opportunity that comes along with the same passion and energy.
